The Shift: A First Wave
Second up in our #LockdownSeries is a sneak peek into Leah Michael’s diary during the summer she spent in a Portuguese surf camp learning how to surf. She shares the struggles of catching her first wave - a feeling we know too well - and the internal doubts that come along with it. We hope you enjoy and reminisce on your own surfing journey! And remember, we are always learning…
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#LockdownSeries
The Shift
Leah Michaels takes you through the motions of catching that first wave…
After her first year of graduate school, in the summer of 2017, Leah traveled to Portugal to learn how to surf. She grew up spending time in the seaside town of Cape May, New Jersey, and never once saw a woman surfing. The following is a short extract from the journal she kept that summer…
June 8th, 2017
Thursday morning we were back at Praia Grande and it was nothing but wipe outs again. I didn’t catch a single wave and I was starting to feel discouraged. Getting pummeled day after day by the ice cold water and strong waves off the coast of Portugal was starting to take it’s toll.
I pried off my cold, salty wetsuit and threw my aching body onto beach. A whole summer of this? I realized it wasn’t going to be fun. It was going to be rough. Some of us decided to grab lunch at the restaurant overlooking the beach. Spending time with my new friends, gazing back at the ocean while a puppy snuggled in my lap helped lift my spirits a little.
Julika, the owner of the small surf school and our lead surf instructor, drove me back to the camp so I could talk to her about my feminist surf art project and she gave me a few references to review. I skipped yoga in the evening because I was feeling shitty. I needed to write and try to have some alone time. I was bunking with 5 men in a small bedroom and while we did become fast friends, finding a moment to myself in the house was difficult.
“I have never been a quitter, but questions started to swirl in my head, like the strong set of waves from the morning, they just kept coming.”
My self-esteem was plummeting quickly, and I’d already committed to a sunset surf in the evening. I have never been a quitter, but questions started to swirl in my head, like the strong set of waves from the morning, they just kept coming.
Why is surfing so much harder than anything else I’ve ever tried? Why aren’t I progressing at all? It’s been four days now, how am I not a pro surfer yet? Why can’t I catch one damn wave? Why are my shoulders aching? What if I’m not meant to be a surfer? What if I no longer have an art thesis project? What am I doing here?
After I poured my self-loathing into my journal I took a break. Looking up at the shelf next to the fireplace I saw a book peeking out called Surf Culture: The Art History of Surfing.
GASP.
It was exactly the kind of book that would be great research for my thesis idea. I’d been looking at the bookshelf for days, but only now spotted this book.
Then I read the introduction:
““Many of the works of art in Surf Culture were made by artists who identify themselves primarily as surfers, others were made by artists who surf. As surfers, artist, or surfer-artists, they are united by the idea that rules are made to be broken. Their achievements demonstrate the way ideas have traveled from surfing to art and back again – from works of art made of surfboard materials to surf logos and ads that incorporate the techniques and talents of contemporary artists.” ”
After reading this, something deep inside me shifted. My friend Simon was standing at the door. “Leah, sunset surf. You ready?” I closed the book shut and smiled at Simon. “Bring it on.”
On June 8th 2017, as the sun set at Praia Grande, I finally caught my first wave.
Leah Michaels
Photographer: Julian Koch